This test is as simple as they get! Just go down the long list below, and for each pair of names shown side-by-side, merely answer the question:
"With whom would you rather have a lunch date, X or Y?"
For the sake of argument, assume the subject of your gustatory fascination is not required to be actually living right now, OK? This is a magic quiz, so anything goes. We'll put you in a time machine just as soon as you come down, and you can have your lunch date, all right? When you're finished and have jotted your answers with one of the two sharp No2 pencils that you didn't forget to bring, tally up those answers by counting truthfully and in a clear voice the number of times you answered X or Y. You may then flip the page to continue with the scoring portion of the test. No fair peaking before I do! Let's check everything one last time. Are you listening to Surrealistic Pillow at a safe, eardrum-conserving volume? Is the black light on, white light off, and do you have your stack of emergency cookies and a ready box of goose bumps in case of sudden drop in sea-level, change in air pressure, or macabre, inexplicable gravity failure? Is the giraffe still blinking, and do you have your all-important blotter in hand? OK then...
Ready set... Stop, Drop, wait for the first trails, and Go!
| Fabio | : | John Wayne |
| John Wayne | : | Salvador Dali |
| Claude Monet | : | Dr. Ruth |
| Dr. Ruth | : | John Wayne |
| Vincent van Gogh | : | Ludwig van Beethoven |
| Vera-Ellen | : | Martha Stewart |
| Claude Debussy | : | Peter Max |
| John Lennon | : | Groucho Marx |
| Aldous Huxley | : | Leni Reifenstahl |
| Charles Darwin | : | Imogen Cunningham |
| Leni Reifenstahl | : | John Lennon |
| Groucho Marx | : | Giuseppe Verdi |
| Giuseppe Verdi | : | John Wayne |
| Edgar Rice Burroughs | : | William S. Burroughs |
| Richard Brautigan | : | Salvador Dali |
| Sara Teasdale | : | Victoria Woodhull |
| Claude Debussy | : | Sara Teasdale |
| Lynn Margulis | : | Martha Stewart |
| Victoria Woodhull | : | Emmeline Pankhurst |
| Winston Churchill | : | The Mad Hatter |
| The Cheshire Cat | : | Salvador Dali |
| Leni Reifenstahl | : | George Burns |
| Mr. Rogers | : | Barney |
| Barney | : | Farrah Fawcett |
| Farrah Fawcett | : | June Cleaver |
| John Lennon | : | Alan Hale |
| John Steinbeck | : | Ken Kesey |
| Ken Kesey | : | Gertrude Stein |
| Rosemary Clooney | : | Martha Graham |
| Gertrude Stein | : | Leni Reifenstahl |
| Timothy Leary | : | Salvador Dali |
| Jesus Christ | : | Marcus Welby, MD |
| John Kennedy | : | Groucho Marx |
| Sara Teasdale | : | Benedict Arnold |
| Martha Graham | : | Rod Stewart |
| Giuseppe Verdi | : | John Lennon |
| Jackie Onassis | : | Leonardo da Vinci |
| Farrah Fawcett | : | Lynn Margulis |
| Hunter S. Thompson | : | Ava Gardner |
| Steve McQueen | : | Queen Victoria |
| P. G. Wodehouse | : | Emmeline Pankhurst |
| Victoria Woodhull | : | Mark Twain |
| Claude Debussy | : | Ruth Benedict |
| Bertrand Russell | : | Alfred North Whitehead |
| Timoty Leary | : | Bertrand Russell |
| Alfred Wallace | : | Gertrude Stein |
| Agatha Christie | : | Nathan Hale |
| William Shakespeare | : | Claude Debussy |
| John Kennedy | : | William Shatner |
| Farrah Fawcett | : | Alan Hale |
| George Kennedy | : | Rosemary Clooney |
| Ken Kesey | : | Carlos Castaneda |
| Jesus Christ | : | Mohammed Ali |
| Leonard Nimoy | : | Martha Graham |
| Giacomo Puccini | : | Georgia O'Keeffe |
| Martha Graham | : | Carlos Castaneda |
| P. G. Wodehouse | : | Georgia O'Keeffe |
| Sara Teasdale | : | Bertrand Russell |
| Marcel Proust | : | Marcel Merceau |
| Merce Cunningham | : | Gertrude Stein |
| John Cage | : | Jackson Pollack |
| Erik Satie | : | John Cage |
| Lewis Carroll | : | Winston Churchill |
| Leni Reifenstahl | : | J. S. Bach |
| Victoria Woodhull | : | Hunter S. Thompson |
Are you ready to turn the page? Not quite? Well then, stay here for a few minutes and the answer will appear to you if you watch this space intently...
IF
YOU ANSWERED ALL QUESTIONS CORRECTLY
YOU MUST BE STARVED... HAVE A COOKIE!
and what the heck, we have plenty of emergency flares,
Go ahead: Light a flare!
And why not really splurge...
Ignite the giraffe, too!